Nov 13 2011

dear diary

        I know I shouldn’t be saying bad things about my day…well, nah… it’s not really a bad thing, it’s just that i’ve realized that we haven’t talked  for almost 2years.

maybe you’re clueless about this, okay, (sigh)

it all started when…*flashback* oh well, fast forward. 

yeah that’s it! ahahahhah! since then,we didn’t talk. so it was really hard for me to communicate, i’ve been trying so hard to get in touch with them but it’s not what i’ve expected to be.

a while ago, my boyfriend and I are talking over the phone and then he mentioned that his mom was seeking for an advice from me about cosmetics…so I was like “really? what for?”

actually i was a little sarcastic in a way that he seemed irritated.

“o bakit anung meron? ako ba nagtitinda?” shuxs i shouldn’t have said that against his mom. >.<

So his tone changed , irritated. so I told him “wow, we haven’t talked for almost 2 years..” ofcourse he knows the reason.

I also told him that i’m too shy to make the first move, and i asked him if his mom is still using her fb. I also said that I’ve tried writing a personal message to his mom a year ago but his mom didn’t said anything. that’s why as much as i’ve wanted to be close to his family i really can’t push myself to be. There’s a barrier… a wall..and that’s one of my issue.

ofcourse he said that “why are you always like that…?no matter what we do there’s always an issue.” and then… the line was cut off..

So while i was washing my face i thought to myself, yeah..?why am i like this? i don’t want these people to hate me yet it seems that i’m the one who’s pushing them to be like one… :(

<3 so ni hao … i’ve been sooooo veerrryy busy lately at work. gosh!
i can’t even go to any cosplay convention anymore… fuftss… whUtta bummer… 
speaking of 1 more month to go, oh well.. actually…
i’m planning to quit my job hopefully by january.
aaarrggghhhh!!
so yeah… I’m planning to go back to singapore by the end of january… or maybe 1st week of feb…?
(heavy sigh)